Monday, September 29, 2008

SAKIT PERUT. This is the kind of days I want to avoid in my life. You know those kind of stomach ache, there's air in your stomach, you want to shit but cannot shit. -.-" Yeah, I'm in those kinda pain now. I've been in and out the toilet for more than 3 times. Still nothing happen.

Skip, skip. Today I woke up at 9.45 and had breakfast. The day went on like usual: online and chatting with friends on MSN. Okay, skip skip. I camwhored.




















































After that, me and my roomie went to Pyramid. She wanted to get a tattoo, after she saw mine. So we did went to Pyramid and there was a serious traffic jam.The taxi guy charged us rm7 when it was supposed to be rm5, he said it was because there was a traffic jam. Anyway, I wasnt in the mood to argue.

Anita: *handing over rm5* RM 5 right?
Taxi guy: RM 7.
Anita: HUH WHY?!
Taxi guy: Cause traffic jam.
Anita: *tak mahu layan and taking out money*
Taxi guy: Understand la, traffic jam. You also understand right.
Anita: *your stupid head lah*


































































































So we went to get the tattoo. My roomie was so scared. -.- She was asking all sorts of questions like will it hurt, will the skin get infections .. AIYO IT IS JUST A TEMPORARY TATTOO LAH. So in the end she chose a dolphin.

I cannot tahan, so I got another one. Hehe, I think it's a nice one. Plus I got 3 ringgit off as a discount for coming for the second time in one week! (:






















Nice righttt???? ( : Got color somemore!


I've been feeling shitty about myself lately. The whole body confidence thingy. I am having my "fat" days. I just called my mother justnow to complain because my sister was obviously sick of me complaining. I hate it when I feel like this. I even talked to Sean about it. I gotta say, I have family and friends that are REALLY supportive. Okay la people, it is not like I am fat, but thing is I am not thin either, and it is really annoying. Thin and tall girls are almost everywhere: in magazines and shopping malls, and even among my friends.

People say I am just the right size, and I know this. But to me, being "the right size" means maintaining the way my body is now, meaning I have to control what I eat because I have to control. Eat a little bit too much, I am going to be fat. Eat a little bit little, I am going to lose weight. :(

sigh sigh sigh.

And it's not like I want to complain. Some days I really am thankful to have the body that I have. But at times, you know, you get influenced. Thin people will comment on you. It's not their fault, anyway, because they are thin and to them I am F.A.T. I dont wanna be fat. :'( Okay, I am not fat, but I am meaty. It is almost the same.

There are definitely people out there thinking that I am crazy for posting about this since I am an okay-sized person. Definitely, there are. My sister is one of them. But what can I say? And you guys can't blame me, unless you're saying that you've never felt insecure about how you look before. That would be totally unbelievable.

And and, there are the days at shopping malls. Trying out nice clothes and not being able to buy clothes that are tight because the meat will budge out and stuff. :( You girls who are skinny, you guys are lucky. What more, my brother criticizes me. But I appreciate them because my siblings are all perfectionists. :/ I am definitely CURVIER than I was last year, I see the differences in pictures. BIG DIFFERENCES. And when I look at those pictures, I want to cry my heart out.

I've had my days too. I remember in my previous school, there were a lot of thin girls. Girls who were the same age as me as same height as me weighing only 35-40 kg, and me..I am like. well, I myself wish I didnt have to know my own weight. And then there are the girls in my class who eat like pigs. They eat oily stuff, fattening stuff and junk food EVERDAY. And they are still so thin, days after days. And then months. They never get fat, I swear. It is so torturing, to see people thinner than me eating so much and then not gaining even 0.5.kg. And their stomach is just so flat. They can sit down without any tummy folding and fats and... And they can wear bikinis.

WHY AM I ON THE CURVIER SIDE?????????

sigh.

No comments: